6/15/14 YEAR OF EQUIPPING TO SERVE

Godly Fathers -- God’s Solution

    A thought on fathers.
    Tony Dungy, a Super Bowl winning coach (2007), retired from football in 2009 to invest more in his family and to positively impact husbands and fathers. When reflecting on the role of men, Dungy goes back to a statement he heard from Chuck Noll. Noll was the Pittsburgh Steelers’ head coach and Dungy was one of his assistants. Noll told him, “As a coach, your only job is to help your players play better.” In the family, God has given men the responsibility of focusing on their wife and children with the purpose of bringing about their success. Dungy says, “Your job is to help your family be the best they can be, to help your kids grow up better, to help your wife be a better woman.”
Decision, September 2013, p.31
    These are some excellent statements.  And yet, we live in a very confused world.  From the pit of hell we are hearing declarations of how unnecessary men are to life. This is a direct attack against God’s plan for life.  God made BOTH men and women, and BOTH men and women are vitally necessary for an orderly life and society.
    If you have paid attention at all, you have seen the cultural promotion of women and the attacks against men.  This has brought us to amazing confusion regarding the importance of and the responsibilities of men and women.  The roll of and the involvement of fathers is absolutely critical.  Can a single mother raise children?  Absolutely.  But, it was never God’s design.
    I found a rather long, but amazing article on a government web site that deals with child welfare.  Let me share several thoughts from it.
The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children
Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-Being (edited)
    A noted sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe: “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children. It is important for professionals working with fathers —especially in the difficult, emotionally charged arena in which child protective services caseworkers operate—to have a working understanding of the literature that addresses this impact. Such knowledge will help make the case for why the most effective CPS case plans will involve fathers.
    See the connection between fathers and child outcomes, including cognitive ability, education achievement, psychological well-being and social behavior. The chapter also underscores the impact of the father and mother’s relationship on the well-being of their children.
    The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes
    One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is indirect—fathers influence their children in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. A father who has a good relationship with the mother of his children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with his children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier. Similarly, a mother who feels affirmed by her children’s father and who enjoys the benefits of a happy relationship is more likely to be a better mother. Indeed, the quality of the relationship affects the parenting behavior of both parents. They are more responsive, affectionate, and confident with their infants; more self-controlled in dealing with defiant toddlers; and better confidants for teenagers seeking advice and emotional support.
    One of the most important benefits of a positive relationship between mother and father is the behavior it models for children. Fathers who treat the mothers of their children with respect and deal with conflict within the relationship in an adult and appropriate manner are more likely to have boys who understand how they are to treat women and who are less likely to act in an aggressive fashion toward females. Girls with involved, respectful fathers see how they should expect men to treat them and are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships. In contrast, research has shown that husbands who display anger, show contempt for, or who stonewall their wives (i.e., “the silent treatment”) are more likely to have children who are anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial.
    The Impact of Fathers on Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement
    Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. Fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities. Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.
    The influence of a father’s involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. An active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.  Highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely than other children to repeat a grade.
The Link Between Marriage and Fatherhood
    Caring, involved fathers exist outside of marriage. They are more likely, however, to be found in the context of marriage. There are numerous reasons for this, not the least of which being the legal and social norms associated with marriage that connect a father to the family unit. That may also explain, in part, why research consistently shows that the married mother-and-father family is a better environment for raising children than the cohabitating mother-and-father family.
    It is interesting to note that, contrary to stereotypes about low-income, unmarried parents, a significant majority—more than 8 in 10 of urban, low-income fathers & mothers are in a romantic relationship when their children are born.  Most of these couples expect that they will get married. One study found that more than 80 percent expected they would get married or live together. However, only 11 percent of these couples had actually married a year later. Why they do not marry is an interesting question open to conjecture. However, as Dr. Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has pointed out, it may be because these couples receive very little encouragement to marry from the health and social services professionals with whom they come in contact.
Author(s): Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, U.S. Children’s Bureau Rosenberg, Jeffrey., Wilcox, W. Bradford.
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm
    This is an amazing article.  It goes on.  There are many biblical principles expressed there. This is God’s design, fathers are vitally important.
    As we continue to look at the book of Acts, let’s see the impact and actions of godly men.  These are good examples of how to live.
Acts 3 NKJV
1 Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. 2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.”
5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength.
8 So he, leaping up, stood and walked and entered the temple with them--walking, leaping, and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God.
. . . . . 12 So when Peter saw it, he responded to the people: “Men of Israel, why do you marvel at this? Or why look so intently at us, as though by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? 13 The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified His Servant Jesus, whom you delivered up and denied in the presence of Pilate, when he was determined to let Him go. . . . 16 And His name, through faith in His name, has made this man strong, whom you see and know. Yes, the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all.
. . . . . 19 Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,
Acts 4 NKJV
1 Now as they spoke to the people, the priests, the captain of the temple, and the Sadducees came upon them, 2 being greatly disturbed that they taught the people and preached in Jesus the resurrection from the dead. 3 And they laid hands on them, and put them in custody until the next day, for it was already evening. 4 However, many of those who heard the word believed; and the number of the men came to be about five thousand. 5 And it came to pass, on the next day, . . . were gathered together at Jerusalem.
7 And when they had set them in the midst, they asked, “By what power or by what name have you done this?” 8 Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers of the people and elders of Israel: 9 If we this day are judged for a good deed done to a helpless man, by what means he has been made well, 10 let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. 11 This is the ‘stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone.’ 12 Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus.
14 And seeing the man who had been healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it.
(The statement of the religious rulers)
17 But so that it spreads no further among the people, let us severely threaten them, that from now on they speak to no man in this name.
18 And they called them and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. 20 For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.”
. . . . 23 And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.
. . . . 31 And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.
PLEASE NOTE:
❏    Godly men will turn the world upside down.
❏    Our world desperately needs more godly men.
❏    What identifies a Godly man?
❏    All men, not just fathers, must be Godly and seek to be a positive influence on the next generation.
❏    Manliness is not found in sinning. “I’m a worse sinner than you are.”  Many men have bragged about their sinful activities and conquests. Proud to be crude and rude.
❏    Everyone benefits from the impact of godly men.
❏    The men in the Bible that are true heroes lived and encouraged godliness.

Questions for discussion:
What stood out to you from the article I read at the beginning?
Why do you think that masculinity has been so defined by brute force and sinful activities?

Prayer for raising up Godly men to impact our city and region.