6/16/13  DESIGN FOR LIFE

God’s Design for the family and society - And He Gave Fathers

    Let’s start out with some statements/thoughts/expressions about fathers.
**Honor your father and mother that your days will be long upon the earth.
**Father Knows Best - a TV program from 1954-1963
    A very successful program based on character interaction and development. Jim Anderson was a “Dad”, and TV audiences loved him.  He was a responsible father who loved his wife and kids. He did a paper route in the rain for his sick son. He choose to see Kathy in a school program instead of attending a Chamber of Commerce dinner. His family was a priority.
**Leave It To Beaver - Same time frame.
    Ward Cleaver:  caring, hard working, honest, faithful and respectful to his wife.  He cared for and did all he could to help out his children.  He talked about principles of right and wrong.
As we turn the corner on programs:
**Married With Children
    Al Bundy was married to Peggy. He got drunk and mistakenly asked her to marry him. There are two children: Kelly, a promiscuous dumb blonde, and Bud, a perpetually lustful and unpopular schemer named after a brand of beer.
    I could go through an unbelievable list of modern programs and movies that show dads/all men as completely incompetent and worthless fools.  Their concept of being a father has nothing to do with God’s design.  Our world is very confused as to what a father is.
    God’s plan from the beginning was that men would be married and then have a family. They would be involved, responsible, and committed fathers.  They would have a positive impact on their families and society in general.  They would live a godly life and pass eternal principles on to the next generation.
Genesis 2:15 NIV
15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
    After God made the universe and the world, He made people.  He made a man, Adam, and put him to work in the garden of Eden. Note that Adam had a job.  Work is God’s idea.  Work is a good idea.
    God created the first man holy.  He was not a lazy, worthless, skirt-chasing lech.  He was not demanding, but hard working.   He was pure and used for God’s purposes. He was not controlled by sin and had a unblemished relationship with God. Adam was the pinnacle of God’s creation and was given the duty of working under God’s guidance. His responsibility was to tend God’s creation.  Sin broke this perfect relationship.
    God’s plan also included creation of the perfect companion for the man.
Genesis 2:18 NIV
18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
    Life, social structure, fulfillment - all come from God’s plan.  We do not exist because of some random happenstance of evolution.  Life is so much better when people recognize God’s planning and live according to His standards.  There is must less confusion and frustration.
    Questions to think about & discuss:
What if everyone in the world lived in a family where mom and dad were married, loving and faithful to each other?
What if all dads worked hard and loved God?
What if “being a man” brought a mental picture of Jesus?
What if all dads taught their children Biblical truths and gave them love and discipline?
What would the world be like?
    The positive answers to these questions show God’s design for the world.  Following God’s way works best.  We are always better off doing things God’s way.
Genesis 2:24 NIV
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
    Leave his father and mother and start his own family.  God’s plan was for a man to be a man and lead his home. God established marriage and the family as the first and most significant foundation on earth.  The marriage of a man and a woman was the basis to form a family and the resulting relationships. God declared His specific purpose and gave priority to the importance of godly families and the nurturing of reverent children.
    God has a plan for marriage - one man and one woman who make an exclusive commitment to each other for life.  There is a very special bond that is established between a husband and wife.  There is both physical and spiritual unity.  God’s plan rules out adultery, pornography, drunkenness, homosexuality and immoral living.  Remember, God’s plan is best.
    Two verses - Old and New Testament
Malachi 4:6 NIV
6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.
Luke 1:17 NIV
17 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous--to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
    The context of this verse is talking about John the Baptist.
    Fathers carry the most responsibility for keeping families unified and strong.  God expects fathers to love their children, pray for them, spend time with them, instruct them about right and wrong.  They are also to teach them to live by God’s Word and standards.
    Fathers give stability to their children.  They find comfort and encouragement knowing that he is committed to his wife and that he will be there for them in the future.  One of the best ways for young girls to not be looking for love in all the wrong places is to have a loving daddy.  One of the best ways for boys to grow up knowing what it is to be a man and how to respectfully treat a woman is to have a great example in his father.
    One of the leading sins of God’s people has been the failure of fathers to love their children enough to teach them the things of God.  John the Baptist challenged fathers to guide their families to God and fulfill His plans.
    Dads are to show their children a godly way to handle money.  The Godly ones spend wisely, pay their tithes and are generous.  You don’t have to be rich to be generous.  They use the resources God has given them wisely.
    One of the key goals of the Bible is to establish God’s intent for families.  This focuses on a right relationship between dads and kids.  A resulting factor of failure to follow God’s way is a breakdown in family relationships.  This is especially seen when fathers abandon their children.
    I firmly believe that one of the evil reasons for the attacks against men in our world in the past decades is to destroy the positive impact of men, therefore destroying society.
    When used properly, we can learn a lot from statistics.  I have done a little research and here are a few of the many I found.  Many of these came from Fatherhood.org.
    According to 2011 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes. In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.
    Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
    Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.
Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397
    A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.
Source: James, Doris J. Profile of Jail Inmates, 2002. (NCJ 201932). Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report, Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, July 2004
    People in general talk about the problems of society.  They talk about solutions.  Politicians work at telling us what the problems are and how they are going to fix them.  They are always talking about new programs they are going to invent and then we get to pay for it.  Unfortunately, most of the solutions proposed are humanly invented and the opposite of God’s plan for the world.

“The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother.”
Discussion:
What a “real man” is.
What a “real man” is NOT.
What is the God-factor in a real man?
How do we make a real man?

Men, ask God how you can be a better man and dad.  We can always improve.